Blessed is he who created me a woman
A boy, a warrior, a husband and father ... a woman and mother.
The full story behind the film Family in Transition
Winner of the best film award at the
Doc Aviv 2018 Festival year 2018
The show is intended for a Hebrew speaking audience
I am standing in front of an audience at my show telling my story, reading parts of it and joking.
I scan my audience. I feel them, see them laughing, crying, and then later, laughing again.
I feel the energy I convey to the people in front of me, the encouragement they receive, and then their ability to absorb the things they hear.
I choose to make them laugh, understanding that this is the easiest way to touch them inside and to broadcast my message.
I share my insights, and all those many challenges that I had to overcome -a difficult childhood,
a severe car accident, getting wounded in military service, bankruptcy, the process of the gender change and finally a very painful separation.
It would have been so easy and understandable to give up every time and crash, but instead I chose life, growth and happiness.
When members of the audience come up to me at the end of the lecture, hugging and kissing me,
I can feel that some of them want to receive more strength and more energy from me. I give all this with great love often staying in touch with some of them for a long time after the lecture.
The secret of the power of my lecture, is not just the telling my life story, or the presentation of the process of a gender change, or a glimpse into a turbulent life
It is the power that people receive from me, regardless of their sexual orientation, their problems and their challenges. It touches them and reminds them, that it is their choice to be alone, sad or disappointed.
The choice of self - destruction is ours.
Smile! Love! Sing! Life is Beautiful!
I am a 44 years old woman, a trans-sexual and a mother to Yuval, Yarden, Agam and Peleg.
At the age of 42, I fulfilled my dream and took off my costume, and became a full-time wife and mother.
As long as I can remember, I have lived in disguise, living my masculinity through my son and my femininity through my wife Gili. I lived in a masquerade ball, trying to be as masculine as possible, hiding and never being exposed.
The film "Family in a Transition" is a delicate human document. It is the documentation of the most difficult process a person can experience, being re-born in the middle of life as a woman into a brave family, that overcomes any challenge and difficulty.
I managed to get through this process thanks to my family - my flock, who stood by me all the way, helping me over and over again, giving me the strength to continue, to be born again, stronger, happier and fulfilled. My family allowed me to become better for me and ultimately better for them.
During the process I realized that I must become an example to try and help give my amazing community (the gay community), the opportunity to live a better life in Israel-a life of equality and acceptance.
I began to act on the national and local level, giving the lecture “Blessed is He Who Created Me a Woman” throughout the country, turning thousands of people into colorful ambassadors of the gay community in the world.
In my show you will see a lot of videos from the process we went through.
ne of them and unforgetable is a video of my daughter Agam Tsuk sharing her insights from the complex process that our family has gone through
Interview with Amit Tsuk
How it all began?
My journey began when I was 4 years old.
My family's journey began when I started the process of gender change 4 years ago.
From the age of 4 I felt uncomfortable in my body, I preferred to play with girls and dress as a girl, but I had no idea what was happening to me.
At the age of 11, I started to wear my mother's clothes, and I started putting makeup.
I hid mother's clothes because I was very afraid that my parents would find out.
I was sure I was a homosexual but at the age of 15 I met Gili, I fell in love with her and even attracted her sexually.
It confused me, I thought it was a teenage virus and I tried to be an extreme man.
Everything I tried to do did not help me. I joined the army as a warrior and there I was wounded.
During the whole rehabilitation period Gili was at my side and immediately afterwards we got married and brought 4 children.
We loved each other very much and I was afraid of losing her. I kept my secret to myself because I thought I would learn to live with him alongside Gili and the children.
How did you tell Gili?
Four years ago, I felt that I could no longer keep the secret.
I envied every woman who walked down the street.
It was a hard winter and I asked Gili to lend me her tights because I was cold on foot.
I wore these tights dozens of times before without her knowledge.
She agreed and when we went into bed together I felt I was at the point of no return.
For several days I asked for more and more requests, put on makeup, put on earrings, until I just came out of the closet.
For three days we just cried. I told her who she had been living for 25 years.
She told me that she loved me and that she would try to go through the process with me.
How did you tell the children?
I began to return early from work to our bedroom and close the door.
I was there who I always dreamed of being.
One day our daughter AGAM said to Gili, "or Daddy is very sick or has a big secret".
That was when we decided to tell them.
We sat with each of them separately and told them.
They did not really understand because Father and Mother sat opposite them.
We felt that what mattered to them was that we were staying together. They did not really understand what was going to happen.
To tell our son Yarden was the hardest. He saw his father as a model and admired him.
He was angry and sad and took time to contain the change and be part of our flock again.
How did you meet Ofir Trainin?
Ofir was introduced to us by Naomi Harnik, who was a counselor in a support group for transgender families.
Gili participated in this group.
He had just made short 4-minute videos about lgbt families and when he heard the story he realized there was a 4-hour movie here.
Are you sorry for something that happened?
I am sorry for the great difficulty that Galit and the children experienced.
I discovered that my family is much stronger, and more loving than I thought.
We all learned to be happy, overcome challenges and become better people.
What do you think about the process you went through?
I get stronger every day.
A few months ago, I found myself with a hand drill. I was shocked. I asked myself - what does that say about me? Am I a man again?
I realized that we all have a male part and a feminine part and when I managed to connect them, I found my true happiness.
Are you satisfied with your femininity? Is there anything you would like to improve?
There is no woman who is entirely satisfied with her femininity. Every woman wants to improve something and so am I.
I would like legs without scars, to be thinner and less hairy.
How come you do not get attracted to men?
There is no connection between gender and sexual orientation.
Trans women, just like heterosexual women, can attract
to men, women, or both.
I am a woman. Trans. lesbian.
Where are the children living?
We have four children.
Yuval, 21years old, was released a short while ago from the army and she lives with me.
Yarden is 18 years old joined the Army right now.
Agam 14 years old lives with me and Peleg 10years old is in joint custody. We let them decide where they wanted to live.
How is the relationship between you and Galit?
We are really trying to maintain as normal a relationship as possible between a divorced couple. Sometimes it succeeds more and sometimes less.
Were you or the children in emotional therapy?
At the beginning of the process, me and Galit tried to go to couple counselors
and psychologists, but we realized that they did not really know how to treat us. They were shocked by the story and we soon found ourselves taking care of them.
The children chose whether to go for emotional therapy or not. They could not be forced.
Some chose to go, some did not want to, some were long-term, and some were short-term.
Why did Gili leave?
I do not really know and cannot answer on behalf of her name.
The process was difficult and Gily has undergone a process of her own.
How is it that Gili is attracted to women?
Gily says she lost faith in men.
I think that she is simply with those who are good and pleasant to her regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
What is the attitude in Israel to the transgender community?
The attitude toward the transgendered community in Israel is getting better, but like here in Israel, sometimes one politician destroys public relations work for years.
Sometimes I want Israel to be like the United States and sometimes I don’t,
Precisely because of those politicians who are looking to gain power at the expense of weakened populations.
We come with our film to the United Statesat the most appropriate time to the United States.
I come to show you that a trans woman can serve in the army, can marry and live happily, can raise a family, raise and educate children, work, develop a career and be as beneficial to society as an ordinary woman - even better.
Tell us about a funny or strange incident that happened to you in your gender change process
I remember getting urinary tract infection for the first time.
I went to the urologist and he looked at me and had no idea what to do. The only thing he could ask was - what did they do with the penis?
I said to him, Doctor, the penis in a jar of formalin in Thailand - please save me.
He didn't succeed.
He sent me to the pharmacy where I discovered that the computer could not give vaginal medications to men and had no choice but to transfer the infection to Galit.